compunction upon planning an early departure

I have a hard enough time becoming forever attached to people - leaving a job is easy. It doesn't matter how stressful the points leading up to my departure may get - the moment I gather my belongings (if I have any there at all) and step outside the building...RELEASE! It is not that I lack compunction or compassion. When I start at something, I have every intention of following through. Phases or seasons in life are going to end when necessary. If the earth's rotation can alter the elements every few months and effect every one and everything, insignificant me can make a career move that may inconvenience a few people but in the long run none of these are worse the ware. In the past seven years, 12 jobs have come and 11 have gone. In these positions I have learned much and for most felt my way through day to day tasks with little or no training. The money it has cost employers to train and pay me has been easily covered by wedding parties, contract-bids won, pre-school classes offered, grants received and stapler sales.

Three months from this day (give or take a couple), the grant that is keeping my current position going will run out. While there has been talk of continued funding from various other sources, I am unsure I could survive another 9 months of breathing in 80 year-old dust, taking lip from punk kids that could give a shit less (that would require too much effort as they have found a true stasis of apathy), dealing with a few incompetent adults (there are also many with the wherewithal to be effective) who are entrusted with a sizable chunk of America's or at least Denver's future and postponing the day when I can actually be rid of the one thing keeping me (loans) from doing whatever it is that I am meant to do (musician, writer, stay-at-home Dad).

Survival of all of these things is not quite the point here. I could put up with all of that crap if I didn't have a para in front of my profession. A prefix with meanings including: alongside of, near, resembling, apart from, and abnormal. Is this not degrading? Being under-paid is not enough for this large bureaucracy that looks down on me from the gray tower that looms only a short walk from my house; the powers that be in this building along with many other educational institutions refuse to recognize my accomplishments and my hard work, denying me the opportunity to fight the good fight as a teacher. If I do not jump through their hoops lined up in such a way to make this hoop jumping process unbearably long and tedious, than I can not make the difference that is so clearly possible. I have to pay money to make money, I have to bend to the mold so I can be pushed around further. It is an outstanding admirable thing...to teach. But only from an outside perspective. Within, it is a degrading calamity from the very onset.